humor

Your Schadenfreude for the Day

You ever have those moments where you just wanna press the proverbial Control/Command + Z button combo on the past five minutes and just start over? Well, join the club, ladies and gents, because I just had a ridiculous set of mishaps befall me in very close succession.

I have long been known to have ridiculous little everyday things happen to me, like dropping an egg on my foot or getting toothpaste in my eye, and then I dramatically share them with the world at large so we all can have a good schadenfreude laugh. (I am the KING of laughing at myself, no joke.) Continue reading →

Sleepy + Poetry = Goldmine

This morning, I was sleepy at work. Because I was sleepy, I wrote a “poem” (I use the term loosely) in an effort to wake up. This was the result.

A Poem for a Pleasant Summer Morning

Sleepy is little Cory, sitting at his comp;
The tea he just drank is giving him no pomp.

The pleasant mint flavor did nothing to awake
This poor and lazy boy, in need of a good shake.

“Wake up,” he tells himself. “Awaken! Do your work!”
To no avail, he sinks deeper into dark sleep-murk.

He tries to write a poem, to turn his brain back on;
It’s going well, when suddenly, a lit…………..
dsfg’kl;df’hkasjdlghajsdg;hasudghasjgdbhnajk

ASLEEP.

I think I’m going to self-publish a book of my own poetry. I’ll call it A Squirrel Among Lions: The Poetry of Cory Hershberger. I mean, if I can keep my rhyme scheme so beautifully intact and my meter so inspired all the time, how can I not succeed? I smell a new career in my future, and it smells like overblown self-worth and misguided aspirations with hints of vanilla and citrus.