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Your Schadenfreude for the Day

You ever have those moments where you just wanna press the proverbial Control/Command + Z button combo on the past five minutes and just start over? Well, join the club, ladies and gents, because I just had a ridiculous set of mishaps befall me in very close succession.

I have long been known to have ridiculous little everyday things happen to me, like dropping an egg on my foot or getting toothpaste in my eye, and then I dramatically share them with the world at large so we all can have a good schadenfreude laugh. (I am the KING of laughing at myself, no joke.) Continue reading

Sleepy + Poetry = Goldmine

This morning, I was sleepy at work. Because I was sleepy, I wrote a “poem” (I use the term loosely) in an effort to wake up. This was the result.

A Poem for a Pleasant Summer Morning

Sleepy is little Cory, sitting at his comp;
The tea he just drank is giving him no pomp.

The pleasant mint flavor did nothing to awake
This poor and lazy boy, in need of a good shake.

“Wake up,” he tells himself. “Awaken! Do your work!”
To no avail, he sinks deeper into dark sleep-murk.

He tries to write a poem, to turn his brain back on;
It’s going well, when suddenly, a lit…………..
dsfg’kl;df’hkasjdlghajsdg;hasudghasjgdbhnajk

ASLEEP.

I think I’m going to self-publish a book of my own poetry. I’ll call it A Squirrel Among Lions: The Poetry of Cory Hershberger. I mean, if I can keep my rhyme scheme so beautifully intact and my meter so inspired all the time, how can I not succeed? I smell a new career in my future, and it smells like overblown self-worth and misguided aspirations with hints of vanilla and citrus.

"Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."

-Virginia Woolf, "A Room of One's Own"

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