It’s early. I blearily steal a glance at my alarm clock, which obnoxiously glows 5:46. Why am I awake? I feel a rustling under the covers and pull them up slightly, only to be met with a pair of wide, furtive eyes and a tentative meow. This mobile, feline wake-up-call returns to gently batting at what has so captured his attention: my, uh, how you say, family jewels.
Cut to another morning this week. It’s early, of course. I’m awoken by a quiet mewling and the ginger pressure of a kitten paw on my arm. I open my eyes to see the culprit stretch in annoyingly cute fashion, stand up, and do a full turn inches from my face. He settles back down after making himself comfortable, places his butt right in front of my squinty morning eyes and lets out a big, airy fart.
He got pushed off the bed for that one. Continue reading