(Okay, so we’re actually calling it Blog Wars 2013. So sue me.)
Somewhat-dated ’80s references aside, I am happy to announce that Blog Wars is making a triumphant return this summer. I’m sure you all remember last year’s exciting inaugural Blog Wars competition, where you faithfully read my ramblings during that fateful week in August, along with those of my friends Kelcie and Erin…what’s that? You don’t remember? You have no idea what I’m talking about? My blog gets next to no page views on a weekly basis? And you think that’s because I haven’t posted since six months ago, to the day? Hey, there’s no need for the ego-blows, imaginary Internet-commenter. I mean, you’re probably right, but come on. That hurts.
Well, whatever: Blog Wars is back and better than ever, y’all. This year, we’re extending the duration from one week to one month, with the intent of pulling the focus from speed and quantity to quality and…well, quantity is still a factor, too. You know what? If you’re here for the #BW13 rules (that’s our Twitter hashtag for the competition because we’re twenty-somethings in the 2010s and we’re HIP), why don’t you head over to Warrior Erin’s blog, where she does an admirable job of laying out the rules and the differences between Blog Wars 1.0 and Blog Wars 2.0.
The three core Warriors, now called the Blog Wars Council (because we’re all a little bit narcissistic and power-hungry, but only a little bit), are returning this year: Warrior Kelcie of House On The Fringes, Warrior Erin of House Act IV and myself, Warrior Cory of House A Multitude of Drops. However, we’re also adding some new faces to the mix this year: Warrior Dustin of House Revelation in Reverie and Warrior Kim of House A Book, Coffee, And The Park. May the wittiest, wisest, and most storied house win.
(Get it? Storied? Like stories, which could be another name for blog posts? I’m clearly already pulling for the witty side of things.)
Bad puns and groan-worthy explanations aside (I’m also going for parallel construction throughout this post, but I shouldn’t bother telling you that; a word-magician never reveals his secrets. Wait…), stay tuned to these five blogs for what promises to be a rewarding, thought-provoking and hilarious month. If it’s anything like Blog Wars 2012, it’ll be one heck of a ride.
In closing, I would be remiss if I did not share what took place while I was writing this: as I navigated over to Warrior Erin’s blog to link to her introductory Blog Wars 2013 post, my cat Seymour plunged himself, snake-like, under my computer from the back, which was sitting on my lap as I sat cross-legged on my bed, surfacing only to paw desperately at whatever he could on the other side, meowing all the while. (I REFUSE to admit there are too many clauses in that previous sentence; you can’t make me.)
If you’re keeping up with your spacial reasoning—I know, it’s hard for me, too—that does indeed mean that Seymour’s head suddenly appeared in my crotch, as did his paws. Sigh. Photographic evidence can be found below. After I shoved him backwards from whence he came and he skittishly jumped away, I swear his little mewlings sounded like laughter.
Anyway, now that I’ve willingly posted pictures of my crotch on the Internet, I guess that means Blog Wars 2013 is officially in session. Huzzah!